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Ch, ch, ch, ch, changes
I got a new computer from Dell today. Most people would be deliriously happy if a new computer was delivered to their doorstep. While I can't say I was truly unhappy, I can't say I was happy, either. Change is hard for me. Even a change that will ultimately be a good thing and make my life easier.
Part of the reason I didn't want a new computer is because the one I am currently using was put together especially for me by my friend, Lenny.
Lenny used to go to my church. He was full of spirit and enthusiasm and faith. He inspired me. We had amazing conversations and although we often didn't agree, we always respected each other's thoughts, opinions, dreams and ideas. He was such a gift -- to me and to many others.
Lenny died in 2005. He was coming to visit me in the hospital after my lung collapsed and I needed to have a drain tube placed in my lung to get rid of all the fluid that had built up. He had left work and was driving to the hospital when another vehicle ran into him. His injuries included bleeding in his brain. I'll never forget when his wife, Gail, was wheeling him out of the hospital to go home. He said he couldn't leave without seeing me one more time. That was the very last time I ever saw Lenny, waving to me from his wheelchair and telling me he was thinking about me.
As I was being released from the hospital several days later, Lenny was going back into the hospital. I was at my home when I received the call from a friend telling me that Lenny had died. I could barely breathe, and this time it wasn't from an almost collapsed lung.
When I went back to work about a week later, there was a note Lenny had left me on my desk from when he had brought my new hard drive by. It said, "I love you," and he had drawn a big smiley face. I still have the note.
I know a computer is an inanimate object. I know Lenny's spirit doesn't live in the hard drive. I also know his hands and his heart went into building the computer especially for me.
No, change is not always easy. It's been a bit over three years since Lenny's death, yet every time I fire up my computer, it's like he's right here with me.
My new computer is just not the same.
Part of the reason I didn't want a new computer is because the one I am currently using was put together especially for me by my friend, Lenny.
Lenny used to go to my church. He was full of spirit and enthusiasm and faith. He inspired me. We had amazing conversations and although we often didn't agree, we always respected each other's thoughts, opinions, dreams and ideas. He was such a gift -- to me and to many others.
Lenny died in 2005. He was coming to visit me in the hospital after my lung collapsed and I needed to have a drain tube placed in my lung to get rid of all the fluid that had built up. He had left work and was driving to the hospital when another vehicle ran into him. His injuries included bleeding in his brain. I'll never forget when his wife, Gail, was wheeling him out of the hospital to go home. He said he couldn't leave without seeing me one more time. That was the very last time I ever saw Lenny, waving to me from his wheelchair and telling me he was thinking about me.
As I was being released from the hospital several days later, Lenny was going back into the hospital. I was at my home when I received the call from a friend telling me that Lenny had died. I could barely breathe, and this time it wasn't from an almost collapsed lung.
When I went back to work about a week later, there was a note Lenny had left me on my desk from when he had brought my new hard drive by. It said, "I love you," and he had drawn a big smiley face. I still have the note.
I know a computer is an inanimate object. I know Lenny's spirit doesn't live in the hard drive. I also know his hands and his heart went into building the computer especially for me.
No, change is not always easy. It's been a bit over three years since Lenny's death, yet every time I fire up my computer, it's like he's right here with me.
My new computer is just not the same.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Nicky on -
I understand your sentiments! Right now I can't think of any specifics, but I know there have been "things" that were very special to me, and that I didn't like having to part with, because they had been given to me by a loved one who had passed away.
I don't really like change (in general) either. I certainly don't like "change for the sake of change" cuz I figure "if it ain't broke, don't fix it!"
I think I automatically assume I'm going to have trouble with new things. That's because....oftentimes I DO! And I get angry at them for giving me trouble, too! :o) !!
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Permalink Reply by Merri Hiatt on -
Nicky, I often have trouble with new things to. If they're new, aren't they supposed to work BETTER than whatever item I'm replacing? =) That learning curve sometimes makes me feel inept and that I don't know what I'm doing. I have to remind myself that there's nothing wrong with that and that learning something new is a GOOD thing!
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Permalink Reply by Nicky on
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I will admit, I do not always like having to learn something new. Learning is hard work, and I am often lazy. It's like Joe told me once, "you just want to KNOW everything already; you don't want to put forth the effort to LEARN it." It is so true! Or, uh, WAS so true....since he said that, I do better, much of the time. But I still rebel against it too often!
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